Winning an Olympic gold medal requires a certain level of mental resilience but hockey star Nicola White was not prepared for the dark places a concussion injury took her.

The 30-year-old is on the slow road to recovery but over four months later she has missed selection for the Commonwealth Games and the World Cup, which starts in London on Saturday, and her life is far from back to normal.

Post-concussion syndrome affected White so badly it sent her into a “black hole” and she still has issues with large crowds or loud noises.

“I wasn’t able to drive, meet people or go to the shops so I became very isolated and a little bit, not psycho, but you are just by yourself in a room for so long with no-one to speak to,” she told Press Association Sport.

“It got to a point where I was tempted to speak to myself in a mirror because I had no stimulation at all.

“It made the experience quite dark and mentally I just became…I wouldn’t say depressed but not far off.

“The worst bit was not knowing when it was going to end. Maybe I was deluded to think one day I would wake up and it would go away but I genuinely thought that.

Olympic gold medallist Nicola White has been sidelined for more than four months after concussion.
Olympic gold medallist Nicola White has been sidelined for more than four months after concussion (Nigel French/PA)

“At the minute I have lost all motivation to do anything. I can kind of see light at the end of the tunnel now but two months ago I was in a black hole.”

White’s problems began in March when she took an opponent’s shoulder to the head during England’s pre-Commonwealth Games training match against Ireland.

She thought she may have damaged her jaw but had no idea she was concussed.

“I went back on with five minutes to go and I felt a little bit ‘airy fairy’,” she said.

“As an athlete I guess that is just stupidity and ignorance at what could be quite a dangerous injury but we always play with niggles.

“I don’t remember much of driving home or ringing my boyfriend in the car.

“I actually attempted to train the next morning but really struggled and went to see the medical team.

“I did the SCAT (Sport Competition Anxiety Test) and pretty much ticked all the list of symptoms but I laugh when I look back as they asked me how I felt out of 100 and I said 65-70.

“It was the most ridiculous answer: I barely knew what I was doing let alone scoring how I feel. I should have given myself 20!

“I was told to stay home, wasn’t allowed to drive and for a couple of weeks was basically in bed, curtains shut, lights off, no TV, minimal phone calls, just laying very still because I felt so sick with banging headaches.”

Concussion has been a recent issue for Liverpool goalkeeper Loris Karius in the Champions League final and several players at the World Cup but all have returned to action relatively quickly.

But White, whose international team-mate Shona McCallin coincidentally is suffering with similar post-concussion problems, is still struggling with the symptoms.

“I have to help my brain re-learn how to cope with movement, how to focus on things, how to tolerate exercise,” said the Rio 2014 gold medallist.

“Even now over four months in I’m barely doing any exercise and am on medication for migraines.

“Mentally we are quite strong as athletes so I often question myself ‘Why am I not coping, why is this so difficult?’

“It’s not my fault and I shouldn’t feel I have to cope. I am trying to come to terms with that now and accept it is OK to struggle.”